Feeling Overwhelmed

First and foremost, today is my son's birthday, so I'd like to wish him a very happy birthday and extra-special day.

As the title of this post suggests, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, but also very relieved. I've been unemployed since July 1st and was trying to cope with my sense of worthlessness and lack of income. The job search was tedious and stressful, especially since I'd been comfortable with my previous job for four years. You might say I'd grown complacent. You'd be right. Suddenly finding yourself without gainful employment in an employer's market is not a fun place to be. I work as a computer programmer, have been doing this for nearly twenty years. I'm no stranger to formal and technical interviews, but this time around it seemed that every employer wanted to quiz me like I had just entered the market from school. The tests and questions ranged from defining certain programming terms (many of which come from first-year textbooks) all the way to writing small programs to accomplish some mundane task. I get it! You wanna make sure an applicant actually has the abilities their resume claims. But, seriously, EVERY interview?

Needless to say, I didn't concentrate much on my writing or editing while I was looking for work. However, I'm pleased to announce that I landed a job with a company that seems like a good fit, with great benefits, solid colleagues, and the commute and money are right. That's where a lot of my relief has come from.

The rest of the burdens weighing on me stem from my current novel as well as various stories I've begun or have recently been thinking about. First, I'll tell you about the current WIP, What Goes Around. This is the story of nine children who vanish from a carousel in 1958, while their parents are watching. Sixty years later, when some teenagers turn on the carousel, the nine children reappear on the ride. I think it's an interesting concept and has started to take shape, becoming something I'm eager to finish molding and polishing. I recently handed it to my wife, my first beta reader. Her reaction wasn't quite what I expected. She didn't think the scary parts were very scary, nor the ending as satisfying as I had hoped. However, she saw the potential in it. She provided her feedback, and, while it doesn't necessarily require a rewrite, it's close. She gave some fantastic suggestions that will make it a much stronger story.

I've just finished the first pass through the manuscript to correct the grammatical changes and typos she identified as she read it. Now, I've got to go through it a few more times to change large swathes by altering some of the characters' roles and motivations. Before handing it off to her, I had gone through it four times. That's a heck of a lot when you're editing a manuscript nearly three hundred pages long. I hate editing. It's tedious and with each pass, I become less enthused about the story because it all starts tasting like beans. At this stage, I can foresee several more iterations through the story just to get it up to her standards. This is causing me to procrastinate and think about newer, shinier stories I could be working on.

As I've said in the past, I am always working on new stories. I usually have a couple going at the same time, hopping between them whenever I need a change of scenery. I'm wrestling with these compulsions now. I desperately need to finish the sequel to my crime novel, Majoring in Murder. I have two other horror novels that I need to work on: Into the Black Mirror and A Consuming Darkness. These are only a few of the stories scattered throughout the production pipe. My notes contain a wealth of material for me to mine. In addition, I've recently been thinking about two characters I invented years ago and still have not used them in a story. That's because I think these two characters could carry a story by themselves, much like George and Lenny from Of Mice and Men. The more I think about them, the more details from their story emerge. I don't want to rush it, because doing that will only hurt the work.

In addition to all of the above, I recently wrapped up a free 5 book giveaway on Goodreads. Overall, I think it went well. The giveaway had a higher interest than I anticipated. Now, I just have to wait and see if any of the readers will leave a review. I'd also like to see if any sales result from it. Basically, I'm anxious to see if the giveaway results in any benefits. I enjoyed the process. If for nothing else, it made more people aware of my work and maybe they will become potential fans. I already want to hold another giveaway with even more books, but I have to exercise patience. And for me, patience is a hard row to hoe. I'm always eager to jump right in.

So, as you can see from what I've laid out, I'm feeling the pressure of the stories I'm buried under. The good thing is that I'm not under any deadlines, except for the ones I set for myself. I tend to publish at least one new novel a year, more if I can do it without churning out crap. I think this is a respectable pace. Some very good traditionally-published authors work at the same pace. I just have to keep reminding myself that writing is a marathon, not a race.

Thanks for stopping by.

The magic of writing

To be honest, there is no magic to writing. Disappointed? Well, let me explain what I mean.

When I think of the magic of writing, I think of a couple of things. First, I think of the words the author used to tell his/her story. As an author myself, I sit and watch my characters interact in my head, kind of like watching a movie. I transcribe the action and dialogue to the page. I also try to throw in some description to convey to the reader what the place looks like, what smells might be in the air, and anything else that helps draw the reader into the story. I strive to create an experience for the reader.

For me, this is extraordinarily difficult. As I'm writing, the scene is playing out. I like to think of it as typing the closed-caption for a TV show or movie. You've got to be quick, get the words down while the action is happening. At least, this is how I write. I don't find myself sitting at the keyboard lolly-gagging with just the right adjective or verb to make a scene pop. That comes later, during the revision process. That's where the writer is supposed to smooth the edges and polish the story until it shines. When I am writing a first draft, I grab the first words that come to mind as I watch those scenes in my head. But, writing the first draft for a novel is a laborious task. I don't do it in a week, or even two. It usually takes me a month or two. Within that time, I am also reading novels for entertainment. I often find myself reading a book and wondering, Wow, this writer's awesome! The way he/she worded this is spot on!, which inevitably leads me to thoughts like this Damn, why can't I write like this?

This is the first bit of magic that comes to mind when I think of the magic of writing: how the author can create such a beautiful work of art from words when my own stuff feels so stilted and awkward. Let me dispel the myth of this kind of magic. Every writer experiences these feelings at some point during their writing, usually when writing first drafts or in the early stages of revising. That's the point of revising, to polish out those rough spots and find the right words to evoke an emotion. Beta readers are instrumental during this process. And, any author who pens a first draft and thinks he/she is Hemingway or Faulkner, well, you're delusional and your writing is probably shit anyway.

As I was editing The Old Royal today, I realized that, as I was making changes and strengthening the story, it was becoming more and more like I wanted it. I was cutting repetitive crap, fixing stupid typos, and filling in large plot holes. It's becoming sexy to me! Yeah, that might sound weird, but if you've ever written a book, or even a short story, and experienced that sense of jealousy as I mentioned, then you probably get what I'm talking about.

The second bit of magic to writing is how someone can sit down and produce something as long as a book. Before I ever wrote my first book (a novel called The Shadow People, which still hasn't been released...yet), I often thought it ridiculous that anyone could write so much for so long. Then, I did it. It took me three months to finish the first draft. I set out to write a thousand words every day, but didn't always succeed. There were days where I didn't make it to a thousand and others where I didn't even sit down to write. But, I made up for those days that I had slacked off by doubling or tripling the words I wrote subsequently. Since then, I've written numerous short stories, started novels, and completed about three or four.

What I'm getting at here is that there is no magic to writing a book. What it takes is determination. Now, I know that bit of advice gets old. People who say they want to write a book realize the dedication and perseverance it takes and either lose their motivation or put it off because they can't commit the time or they aren't disciplined enough to carry through. There is no magic there. Believe me. I know. I was once like those people who always wanted to write a book, but didn't think I was up to the task. Finally, my desire to do it outweighed my procrastination and lack of motivation. I made myself sit down and do it.

That's how I feel about the magic of writing. I've pulled back the curtain and seen the little man hiding there, trying to keep the process shrouded in a veil of mystery. Now, I'm not saying that there isn't any magic in books. The experience of being transported to another place and time through words is real magic that exists between the writer and reader. So, what are your thoughts and feelings on the subject? Feel free to weigh in with a comment. Thanks for stopping by!

2012: The Lineup

I've been busy as hell trying to get some projects closer to completion. While I've been heads down working, I haven't really given the blog much attention. When I happen to think of it, I flush with embarrassment because it seems like I'm neglecting a loved one. I don't want to neglect any loved ones, especially my readers. So, I thought I'd give you guys (er, and gal(s)) a glimpse into the things I have lined up for this year.

First, I'm trying to right a wrong by publishing The Old Royal. I said in a previous post that I hoped to release this by the end of January. I had to eat crow in the previous post. I'm happy to say that my wife returned the manuscript to me and assured me it didn't require a rewrite as I had initially suspected when I jumped the gun. I am more pleased to say that I managed to edit nearly a third of the manuscript this past weekend, which, for me, is an astonishingly immense amount of editing to accomplish. I think I've said before how much I hate editing. I'd rather have my fingers pounded with a ball peen hammer. So, I hope to have this completed and handed over to my beta readers soon.

Second, I am still in the early editing phases of a Southern Gothic called Lathem's Lament. I mentioned a little bit of what it's about in this post. This is a story set in the 50s in rural Georgia. It's mainly about a family dealing with life at home while their son is fighting over in Korea. The story follows the family as well as some of the neighbors and each chapter is told from a different character's point of view. I know it's a deviation from my usual crime and horror fiction, but it's a story that I had in me and begged to be written. I obliged and hope I do it justice and that my readers will enjoy it. There is a crime that takes place in it as well as a supernatural event. Anyway, I'm working on getting it ready to hand off to the wife, too. When I release it, I hope to hear some positive reviews for it. After all, the readers are the final judges.

In addition to this vintage story, I have a Southern Gothic/crime caper in mind that I've been itching to write. I've already started it, but haven't gotten very far with everything else in line ahead of it. This is a story set in the early 30s (also in Georgia—can you see the theme here?) about a black man on the run from a lynch mob for murdering a white girl. I'm still a little sketchy on the ending because I haven't nailed it down, but I've got some ideas about how it might end. You'll have to stay tuned to find out more about it. The tentative title is Rabbit on the Run. If I can execute it the way I see it in my head, I think it'll be a fantastic read.

I mentioned a ball peen hammer earlier, which brings me to this last project. Another book set in rural Georgia, this time in the 70s. The protagonist is a Vietnam vet who witnesses a meeting between some members of the Dixie Mafia and a politician. He's running for his life as the Dixie Mafia pursues him (mainly a thug who enjoys using a ball peen hammer on his victims) and, at the same time, trying to expose the corruption he has recently discovered. I'm excited about this one, but I'll be lucky if I can release it this year. The title I have in mind is Greasing the Squeaky Wheel.

There you have it! Four big projects, all in various stages of the writing/editing process. I hope some of these sound as exciting to you as they do to me. Check back to learn how I'm progressing and watch for the stories that interest you most. They're coming. I don't know when, but I can assure you, they ARE coming. As I get closer to the publishing date for each, I'll provide some sneak peeks at the covers. Thanks for reading!

Status Update: My Writing Projects

So, it's been a while since I gave a status update on my novel, Majoring in Murder. Well, I finished tweaking the eBook format today for the Nook and Kindle. In addition to that I worked on formatting it for the paperback edition I hope to publish through CreateSpace. I've never self-published a paperback, so we'll see how that turns out.I sent the Nook version to a new beta reader and hope to have it back sometime early next week unless he finishes before then, which he might. He said he was a fast reader. I've got my fingers crossed that he likes it. I expect to publish it in early November.

NaNoWriMo is fast approaching and I've been giving some thought to what I want to write during that time. At first, I was thinking of writing a non-fiction book about making silicone masks. I still plan to do that, but as I was looking through my idea file, another story caught my attention. One that was begging to be written. It's sort of different from the stories I normally write. This one is less horror and crime, although there are some seedy characters in it. I like to think it has a stronger sci-fi element to it, which really isn't my forte, but nevertheless, I'm going to take a stab at writing it. We'll see how it comes out. The non-fiction book will follow sometime soon after that.

Also, I began editing a Southern Gothic novel I wrote last year called Lathem's Lament. After reading Faulkner's As I Lay Dying, I wanted to write a book in a similar vein. I wasn't all that excited about it when I finished, thinking I had failed as I put down that last word. When I returned to it today and began reading, however, my excitement was renewed. If all goes well, I hope to release it sometime early next year.

That's pretty much what I've got on my plate. I plan to be busy and productive. I'll let everyone know when I release Majoring in Murder. In the meantime, here's an SNL video I thought you might enjoy.

New Year, New Opportunities

We're five days into 2011 and I'm excited by the opportunities that await. Most blogs I've read since the first have discussed resolutions. I'm not going to do that. Why? Simply because I don't believe in resolutions. Instead, I want to tell you what I'm up to and what I'm planning to do this year.

Currently, I'm four chapters from finishing the first pass of my editing process for one of the novels I wrote last year. Many times, when I do a read-through of one of my first drafts, I am embarrassed by how horrible it reads. There are so many awkward parts that I wonder if I will ever get the damn thing published. Of course, that's why the edit process exists, to chisel away all of that awkwardness and confusion and finely tune the prose to be smooth and beautiful (hopefully). I'm pleased to announce that am very satisfied with this first draft's story so far. I was expecting the clunky awkwardness, but it has been a pleasure to edit so far. I hope the other two novel manuscripts waiting their turn will be as enjoyable on the first read through.

In addition to my ongoing editing, I am preparing to circulate two short stories to publishers and hope they find homes. With the new year, many publishers submissions should open to fill empty slots within their magazines. So, needless to say, I'm anxiously waiting for that to happen. I'll be even happier to receive another acceptance letter, those are always exciting!

Also, I am considering entering NaNoWriMo again this year. As I write this, it sounds like it will be fun. I guess my annoyance of feeling rushed from last year's has worn off. Not only that, but in retrospect, I came away from it with a third novel for the year. I didn't complete the novel within the specified time, but it was close and if I can do that again, then I think it's worth the effort. This time, however, I'll make sure to get my notes and outline complete before November 1!

I love reading and I buy books every week from Barnes & Noble. I should also admit that I'm a slow reader, so my queue of books to read is much larger than the books that I've finished reading. I'm thinking about whittling down my queue before I buy anymore books. Otherwise, I'll have to build another set of bookshelves, which is inevitable, but at least I can put it off for a long while.

On another artistic note, I purchased a DSLR camera around Christmas because I wanted to dabble in amateur photography--I really enjoy looking at great landscape photos. I asked myself, why not take pictures that mean something to ME? I mean, that's how I became a writer, right? I'm extremely new to digital photography...hell, photography in general. My first lesson was that the hobby I chose is very expensive! The camera I bought is a Canon Rebel T2i. It set me back a substantial amount, so I'm working on the basics and learning the camera's functionality before spending anything further. I hope to shoot my own videos--did I mention it also records video? cool, huh?--in addition to photos so I can put together book trailers in the future. If I become worth a shit and take any photos worth posting, I'll probably post them on the web site.

Well, that's about it for now. Plenty to keep me busy. I'm hoping 2011 will be a prosperous year for my artistic outlets. Now, time to go edit.

Editing is my life...

at least, for the next couple of months probably.

Currently, I have two novels and one long (long for me anyway) short story to edit into shape so that I can start shopping them around to publishers.

As I said before, I was ready to reread my short story, FETCH, to see if it turned out remotely how I envisioned it and whether it was any good. I've managed a read-through-slash-edit and I think it turned out just fine, how I saw it anyway. Whether it's good is still up for debate since readers' tastes are so subjective. I've given one copy out to a colleague at work to gauge his response and hear his feedback. Normally, my wife is always my first reader, but with school in session, I decided not to add my story to the stack of papers she has to read from students. If she knew this, I like to think she would appreciate it.

As far as the novels are concerned, I might shelve the first as it's a southern gothic set in the early 50s and I don't think there's much of a market for southern gothic anymore. I loved writing the story and I think it's really good (of course, a read through will determine if that opinion is still valid), but I'd hate to spend months editing it, whipping it into shape, only to find that I can't sell it. The second book, on the other hand, is a crime drama (still trying to find a catchy title, other than DOUBLE DEALING) that I am extremely excited about. It's in the vein of Block's Keller-series books. Mine is about a college student blackmailed into contract killing for the mafia.

If the execution went well then I think my readers will enjoy it. While it's hard to have your readers root for a killer, I think in this case it might work as we get to see how the protagonist deals with his dilemma by satisfying the mafia while trying get himself out of the situation.

So, with two books and a long short story waiting for my editorial pen, I won't be doing much new creation for a while. Well, maybe. I think I'm addicted to the creative process and probably won't be able to stop myself from taking a break to pen another short story or two. Time will tell. Until then, let's keep our fingers crossed because the editorial process is where the writer gets to stand back and look at what he/she has created. It's a chance to see if all those days of filling the blank pages has amounted to anything worthwhile. It's also (for me and probably a lot of other writers) a fragile time when doubt runs rampant.

Spring is in the air, and so is writing fever!

It's been a while since I've blogged anything. Some of this has to do with my new job, which keeps me very busy. Some of it is because I'm lazy when it comes to blogging as I tend to focus much of my writing on my short stories and novels.

I mentioned last that one of my stories, Hush, Hush, My Love, would be in a forthcoming issue of Shroud Magazine. I am anxiously awaiting that issue, which is the 9th issue by the way. I expect it will probably come out sometime in the Summer. Please, be sure to pick up a copy. If you like it, send me some feedback via my website.

I've begun work on a new novel. Something much different than my normal work. As anyone who knows me or my writing know, I usually write only horror or dark fiction with an occasional science fiction story thrown in for fun. Well, since I've been reading outside of my genre, I've discovered a huge goldmine of fantastic stories and authors. Namely, the Southern Gothic writers. I recently read Faulkner's As I Lay Dying, the first Faulkner story I've ever read. At first, I hated it. I got hung up on Vardaman's POV stream-of-consciousness. The story stuck with me though, like a popcorn kernel caught between your teeth. I worked at it, mulling the story over in my mind until I finally developed an admiration for it (I still don't like Vardaman's POV though). I read Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men, and now I'm reading The Grapes of Wrath. The first Southern Gothic books that started my love of this sub genre were Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird and John Grisham's A Painted House. I look back on each of these novels with a fondness and took something away from each one. The novel I'm currently working on is in this same vein. It's called Lathem's Legacy and I'm using many of the different techniques from the aforementioned authors to create this piece. From Steinbeck's use of dialect, to Faulkner's use of character POV to tell each story, to Lee's and Harper's way of introducing grotesque characters who are realistic, believable, and at the same time, slightly pitiful.

This is a story about Georgia farmers during the early 1950s dealing with one of their family members fighting overseas in the Korean conflict. I am trying to write in such a way that doesn't show southern people in a bad light. I wanted to tell the story of a family that was respectable, such as the family in To Kill a Mockingbird. Through a changing POV for each chapter, I want to give the reader a sense of the characters: the way they think and act, and how they view their family and peers. The overall story arc is centered around how the family deals with the absence of Lathem, the oldest boy of the Whitfield family. There are several subplots, including an illegitimate pregnancy, one person's struggle with living in the shadow of an abusive alcoholic father and town scoundrel, the bond of friendship between a boy and a mentally handicapped man, and the defense of a friend in the face of danger.

When I first set out to write, I never thought I would pen anything outside of horror. If you'd have told me that I would try writing a Southern Gothic novel, I would have scoffed at the idea. Since reading the previously mentioned books, I've grown a deep appreciation for these writers and their stories. I never liked the idea of setting any of my previous stories in the south. I don't know why since I am a southern native. I guess I just felt that the south wasn't an exotic locale for a story. But, since reading several stories about the south, I've learned a lot. Especially, that writing about a place you know makes the work of adding verisimilitude that much easier than making up a location from scratch. Also, combining traits of people you know to create new and varying characters opens up a whole new world of exciting characters to live in my stories.

In addition to the Southern Gothic novels, I've also been reading more dystopias. Aside from Orwell's 1984 and Huxley's Brave New World, I've read Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 and begun reading Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, which is simply brilliant. This caused me to begin a short story (maybe it will turn into a novella, time will tell) called Jurisprudence. This is the story of a man who receives a summons from The State to appear in court. He has no idea why he is summoned as he can think of no circumstance when he has broken the law--this sounds much like the premise of Kafka's The Trial, which is in my reading queue, but is not a ripoff, I assure you. Throughout the story, I want to paint the picture of a dystopia where corporations rule the country and people are merely grist for the mill, keeping the cogs of the business machine turning. Through the actions and dialogue, I want the reader to get a sense of what this future world is like. Not until the main character's trial does the real drama unfold. This story, as well as the novel mentioned above, are both still works in progress, but they were born out of ideas that came to me as a result of exposing myself to new worlds through reading various books outside of my usual genre.

I guess this post is just a case in point of my original advice to throw caution to the wind and pick up some books you normally would never have read. You never know how a book will impact you and change your outlook on things. If it weren't for me adhering to this philosophy, I would probably still be churning out bland horror tales.

Reading outside of your genre

Most writers have probably heard that to improve their craft they should read widely, even outside of their genre. While there are many who do this without hesitation, there are some who find it painful to venture beyond the comfort zones of their favorite genre. In the past, I was also guilty of this latter habit.

My favorite genre has always been horror. My bookshelf had no diversity among the authors that sat atop the shelves. One would only have to look at my titles to see that Stephen King was my favorite author. I had heard the advice to read widely and avoided doing so. Eventually, I received some books a friend was throwing out. While sifting through the boring non-fiction titles in the pile, I came across some John Grisham books. I knew he had a reputation for writing novels about lawyers. While this did not appeal to me in the least (I have a distaste for lawyers, which is a long story in itself), I took them anyway. Who would turn down free books, right? The two Grisham books I took with me were, King of Torts and A Painted House. One night, after having finished yet another Stephen King book and feeling like reading something very different, I scanned the books in my queue and saw A Painted House. I pulled it from the shelf and began reading it.

Never have a enjoyed a book so much! I was delighted to find that John Grisham had written a superb non-lawyer novel. It was like a revelation to me. After finishing that book, I read Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird. Yet another great book that I should've read in high school but didn't due to ignorant stubbornness. Since then, I've gone back and read many more classics that I never enjoyed when I was younger. I have also extended my tastes, purchasing books from so many different genres. From satirical to crime/drama to literary. Recently, I read Cormac McCarthy's No Country For Old Men after watching the movie and found the book, as thin as it is, to be a gem of a story.

To look at my bookshelves now, one would see a very diverse landscape of book titles. I find myself looking back on the various genres with an extreme sense of joy. I've knocked down the walls of my favorite genre, left the narrow confines of the comfortable and walked into the daylight, experienced the really great and the awful. My writing has begun to reflect changes from the new experiences I've had when reading authors like McCarthy, Bradbury, Huxley, Orwell, and Faulkner, to name a few. I've seen how more notable authors handle character development, desciption, dialogue, pacing, themes, symbolism, and mood. It helps me identify the flaws in my own work and that of other writers.

Since this epiphany, I no longer find myself in Barnes & Noble, scrounging among the familiar aisle searching for quality horror novels. Instead, I walk down the unfamiliar aisles, scanning book titles and covers for something intriguing. I read the back cover and, if it sounds at all interesting, I find myself buying books by authors I may have only vaguely heard about in the past, if at all. Most times, I'm satisfied with the new books I choose and the story they have to tell. Other, less often times, I find that what I've read was disappointing or outright horrible. But, even these bad books have their own lessons; mainly, how not to do something.

When meeting new writers, I like to discover who their influences were and how widely they read. More often than not, I learn that they only read a certain genre and are hesitant to venture outside of it. While I can certainly understand this hesitation and apprehension, I try to encourage them to break out of that habit. Sure, you can learn how other successful writers in a genre do things. You can even see what's been done to exhaustion and steer clear of those pitfalls, but to not expose yourself to the other stories out there is to rob yourself of an excellent writing education. Reading such diverse material will shed light on new techniques that can enrich your writing and strengthen the skills you, as a writer, bring into your stories.

So, if you're one of those new writers flailing in a shallow puddle trying to learn to swim, let me implore you to come over to the ocean of diverse literature. Wade in. The water's fine. Really, it is. And, I'm sure you'll learn plenty.